God is so so good. All of the time. Throughout everything. Through every triumph, every failure. Every second of this worldly life and beyond to endless amounts of merciful eternity. I’m in love with the transformations my life is taking. Some parts slowly, but definitely surely. And other parts in a more fast pace.
Typically, the things that we are known for or that follow us around have some sort of description of who we are. For me, there were quite a few questionable things my name was tied to a long time ago. Things I wasn’t proud of, but that I had to deal with the consequences of anyways. When people would see me, these choices and heartbreaks were automatically drawn into their minds. Among there being bad things connected, there were definitely good as well. Others, I thought were things that I deemed important to me in my own self description. The main focus that comes to mind is being somebody’s ‘someone.’ For a while, I liked that label. I enjoyed the fact that when people saw me, they knew I was _________’s girlfriend. That I was tied to this other fantastic human being, and that was ultimately all that mattered. That I would be happy and smiling, and that person would be the main source of my joy. I was ignorant.
This last Sunday at church, I got recognized. I wasn’t noticed for being somebody’s girlfriend, I’ve been single for quite a bit. I didn’t get noticed because I was dangling on someone else’s arm, hanging on every word he said. I got noticed for the right reason. I was gathering information and signing up to do Children’s Ministry on Sunday mornings, when one women sparked conversation with me. Within our talk, I was given the beautiful title declaring I was ‘One of the Romania Girls.’ Gah, my heart….it nearly exploded. Back in January, I signed up for my Romania mission trip. A very hesitant Hannah took one tiny baby step at a time towards this huge goal. Over time, I’ve been forced to take huge leaps and put my tiny baby steps to shame. Much work and planning has had to be done for this trip. Most of the time, I’m so caught up in the focus of getting it all done, that I forget other people are aware of it. I forget other people know we’re going, and that they are so eager at heart for our God searching selves.
I couldn’t even tell you the difference in emotion for those two titles of sorts. Being called someone’s girlfriend, and noticed for that, yea it’s cool. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy that comfortable feeling of connectivity. There’s just so much more though….Being noticed as a Child of Christ, in such a season of searching for deep and true love, it’s incomprehensible. I wish you could see the smile just spread across my face while I reacted, talking about my eagerness for my trip. It definitely taught me something, standing there next to a stranger, and yet a beautiful sister in Christ. More than anything, the title I pray to endlessly hold over my life and my heart, is God’s Child. His love, His princess, His bride, His. Yes, someday, I will be eager to finally be somebody’s ‘someone’ again. I will love to love, and yearn to share the Lord with someone. Those days of the future will be glorious and God filled. But those days aren’t here. Right now, God is showing me how to put Him in the forefront of my heart and mind, and to keep Him there always. To not let anything or anyone replace the lead spot in my life where only He can be fulfilling. Sometimes, my selfish ways can make this difficult on myself. But ultimately, God will hold true and He will provide.